Amy Winehouse under house arrest

3 07 2008

It’s a beautiful Irish Summer day. The sky is grey and I’m up to my ankles in rain water. It seems like it’s been raining non-stop for a week now. The only thing I’ve to remind me that the sun even exists is some unfortunate “farmers tan” lines on my arms and chest.

I’d to haul ass is the rain to work and was sitting at my desk resigned to my misery when I heard that Amy Winehouse is under house arrest.

For some reason…maybe because I’m the spawn of Satin…hearing of Winehouse’s misfortune cheered me up no end. It’s always reassuring to hear that, while you’re life may be depressing…at least you’re not Amy Winehouse.

Amy Winehouse at Mandela Concert

Apparently Amy’s managers had all they could take in recent days. She looked and sounded a right state at the Mandela Birthday Bash (see pic), punched a fan at Glastonbury (in fairness the dumbass touched her beehive!), called Kanye the big “C word” and then went out on the town and got herself properly wasted (against Doctors orders since she’s under treatment for emphysema). Her record label bosses have now confined her to her house and employed 24 hour security to ensure she doesn’t escape and hit the town.

There will also be a security guard outside the house to keep out undesirables (Pete Doherty that means you!). The powers that be have finally realised that Amy won’t go to no no…and she can’t/won’t clean up her act so their plan is to quarantine her so she can’t get drink/drugs and they can hopefully talk some sense into her. Good luck lads…ye’ll need it!

The Amy Winehouse Self Destruction Continues

23 06 2008

Does anyone else feel like there’s some new revelation or tale of horror from the Winehouse files on almost a daily basis? This week we heard that Amy had fainted while signing autographs for fans at her home and was rushed to hospital. Following days of tests it was revealed yesterday that Amy has contracted emphysema.

If ever you wanted something to deter you from drugs, check out this photo. Nicotine stained hands that would put even Pete Doherty to shame:

Amy Winehouse- scary pic- Amy Winehouse

Hopefully this awful illness will be a blessing in disguise for the troubled musician and ensure she kicks the crap and gets back to making good music.

It’s bad news for any Irish fans who rushed to buy Oxegen Festival tickets to see her perform. Winehouse cancelled her last Irish gig in November 2007 after allegedly been advised by a doctor to “to take complete rest and deal with her health issues” (clearly that advise was followed to the letter). I think it’s a case of ‘more fool you’ for those people who were banking on Amy actually showing up. There’s more chance of the Pope pole-vaulting through my window naked right now than there is of Amy Winehouse getting her act together in the near future.